Important Photos in Your Life

Here are pictures from my brother's family's visit last week. My brother took all these pictures. He's a great brother. He always has been.

You're probably not interested in these, and I probably wouldn't be if I were you, but to me they represent a kind of perfection in the universe, one that involves your son's last soccer game, the awarding of his trophy, and the multiple pictures of him holding his groin as if he needs to pee. Other perfect events taking place are your daughter, who is the baby in these pictures, your wife, the beautiful blond woman in these pictures, your brother, the bald guy you see only once or twice, your sister-in-law, the beautiful brunette woman in these pictures, your son, the blondest kid in all of these pictures, your nephew, the nearly eight-year-old boy in these pictures, your niece, the beautiful six year-old girl here. You are in these pictures too. I mean me.

This has nothing to do with Hitler's mustache. This is the reverse of Hitler's Mustache. These are the answers you've been looking for, even if you're not looking. I'm not talking about being rescued, I'm talking about not being lost.