When You're Nervous

If you're like me you're
contriving to be human, thinking,
well, there is no reason not
to be human and what do I have
to lose? Which is exactly true
except that you know there
are things to lose.
Even when you have nothing,
still something is grazing
in your pasture.
Ah, you say, but I'm no farmer!
Yes, I say, and I'm no farmer.
I'm not even going to get into
the decisions a president must make.
Still, there are poets like Liam
Rector who kill themselves.
Even other people are dead.
Some people maintain summer gardens.
It all starts to melt together.
Documentaries make it clear that
there is a branch of reality called history.
Even if you're not a fan of
assassination, you consider bullets.