How I Notice Hopelessness

I had intentions of writing something
here that mattered a great deal and somehow
made me more equal, universe-wise,
but of course it's the same not. You,
patient nobody, are very gracious.
Of course, I hate myself for all of my activities.
Still, I dislike myself for other reasons.
It's a sort of sponge you use for soaking.
Suck.